Inner Water Reflection?
My thought process in this business name is looking at yourself in your reflection, whether it is through a mirror, water, the TV when it is off, etc. Do you like what you see? I hated what I saw in my reflection growing up. Why? I had no idea why, back then. I could tell my brother hated his reflection, back then, as well. I knew, because he used to bang his head on the wall and repeat to himself “I hate myself.” I never did that, but I also couldn’t look at myself in the mirror and actually admire my reflection.
When I was thinking about this, I compared the way I saw my reflection back then and the way I see my reflection now. Let me tell you, it is night and day. As a matter of fact, when I went back in time to see the younger version of myself, I saw something so different compared to pictures taken from those days. For example, when I looked at pictures of myself at 14 years old, I looked like I had a lot of fun! However, when I thought about my 14 year old self and “saw” myself in my head, I would see a girl slumped with her hair hiding her face completely. She looked depressed and hidden. As if she was trying to hide herself from her entire world. She had succeeded. I could not see her face at all and as slumped and curled up as she was, practically into a tight ball, she was so small I would not have noticed her if she was in a group of people. She was covered in darkness and clearly did not want to be noticed or touched.
Remembering how I saw myself in my reflection back in those days, reflects how I saw my 14 year old self today. It took me to see a psychologist to see that I saw my younger self in such a dark way that had not changed since then. Which, part of that reflected back to me even in my adulthood through my reflection. No wonder I had a hard time looking at my reflection.
So what can we do to start redefining ourselves in a way we can appreciate and see the beauty in our reflection?
Understanding how the human body works, what stories our triggers tell, and learning how to trust our bodies and how to listen to it. We have heard the saying “Listen to your body’s whispers before it starts screaming.” What does that mean exactly? We have all these sayings, but there is never any direction or explanation.
I am here to help you see your reflection and be proud and like what you see, by redefining who you were and who you are today. To provide knowledge and tools you can use now and reuse later when you need it.
Here are some points I would like to start with:
Our body’s brain and nervous system.
Our trauma, affecting us emotionally and physically.
How we can move through the trauma and grow from it.
What happens from here?
Our body’s brain and nervous system:
Our brain will process our experiences in a way that will be best for us at the time. If we need to survive the current situation, the brain will process it with survival as top priority.
What does that mean exactly? (We will use my miscarriage as an example) My miscarriage caused so much pain that my brain shut off all emotions. That was the function for survival to save me from shutting down completely. To save me from certain extreme trauma.
Brain makes the connection from brain to trauma, where ever that lies in the body. In this case, my heart (grief) and my hip area (my womb where I lost my baby). The brain will always remember this pain pathway that has been newly created at the time of the trauma.
Point: Once you feel a certain pain, you cannot unfeel it. Same concept as you cannot unsee something, after you see a traumatic situation. It is called cellular memory, same as muscle memory. Also, it is your brain’s survival mechanism.
Our trauma, affecting us emotionally and physically:
Once the brain creates the new pain pathway, and when you go through similar pains or if you injure yourself in a similar area, your brain will try to go back to the same pain pathway before it will force a new pain pathway.
This will cause a certain area of the body to have pain over and over again (not in every case)
This will cause triggers emotionally. The reason we cry in certain situations. It is a form of sympathy. Whether you watch a movie or hear someone talk about miscarriages you will feel emotions well up, whether you let it show or not.
How we can move through the trauma and grow from it?
Whenever you feel a trigger, understanding why you are having the trigger can be helpful.
As we grow into our better selves, your body will remember things in a certain way and make you feel the trigger to help you avoid further emotional pain.
By facing your triggers you can learn yourself. What stories your triggers can tell. You may know where it comes from, but your body needs to also shed this emotion by letting yourself go through the emotions.
By facing your triggers, you will start seeing patterns and you will start understanding what triggers were triggered and when and why.
What happens from here?
Every time we grow, our brain gets very uncomfortable and will go into a sort of survival mode.
This will cause triggers as you give yourself a chance to grow. Think of it as challenges.
For example, I abandoned my brother when I was young. I didn’t exactly abandon him. I left a situation to save me and left him to pick up the pieces. When I started my business and started thinking about hiring employees, there was a lot of resistance. My brain was telling me, “How are you going to be able to help employees when you couldn’t even help your brother.” This discomfort is helping me avoid certain disappointment that I have felt before. A survival instinct to keep me safe.
Point is: Because I felt the trigger and was able to trace it back to when this particular emotion happened, I am able to tell myself, “It’s ok. That may have happened then and I appreciate the survival skill, but I am safe to do this now, because I am no longer that person. I am now safe from that situation. I am safe to do what I need to do to be better.” This was a challenge, I was able to connect it, and I was able to thank myself for what I needed then and know that I am safe now to do what I need to do.